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Season 5 (POMfannumber1)/Eleventh Night
Script Meeting Amy And Rory Doctor: Do I like crashing in this body? Yes I do! CRASHING IS FUN! The console starts exploding. Doctor: Oh dear. I hate suits, suits are not cool! The Doctor undresses complety and he is naked. Doctor: Ah! Much better! The TARDIS crashes outside a bar. The Doctor walks into the bar, Amy Pond is serving a group of middle-aged men. Man 1: Amy, babe, get us some more beer. Amy: Don't babe me. You know perfectly well I'm getting married next week! Man 2: What's that naked man doing by the door? Amy: Hello, Pond's Bar, wine, beer or whiskey? Doctor: Do you have fish fingers and custard? Amy: I'm sorry but Pond's Bar only sells drinks. Doctor: I'll take a glass of wine then! Amy serves him a glass of wine. The Doctor drinks it and then spits it out. Doctor: Wine's disgusting. Amy: Well, men, it's 11:00. Time to close. Men: Oh. Amy: Sir, the naked one, shall I take you back to my house. Doctor: Yes! A house! A housey housey housey house! With a garden and a TV and a sweet shop downstairs! Amy and the Doctor reach her home. Rory opens the door. Rory: How dare you be naked in front of my soon to be wife! Rory punches the Doctor's nose and it starts bleeding. Doctor: Ouch! That hurt! Amy: He dosen't seem to have a house or clothes! Rory (Under breath): Or a brain for that matter! Amy: Just give him a tissue and some clothes! Rory gets him a tissue. Rory: Come into our bedroom, Sir. You can have some of my clothes. Rory and the Doctor go to Rory's wardrobe. Doctor: Now, trousers. The custard ones can go. Oh, blue jeans! I'll have them. The Doctor puts on the jeans. Doctor: You have a lot of shirts. I'll take that one. And the tweed jacket. And the fez. The Doctor puts them one and runs downstairs and nabs a bow tie. Doctor: Bow tie are cool! The Doctor faints. Amy: Get him onto the sofa! Quick! Amy and Rory carry him onto the sofa. Rory: I wonder who he is? Amy: Doctor who? After a while, the Doctor sits bolt upright. Doctor: Come along Pond! The Doctor takes Amy's hand and they run to the TARDIS. Doctor: I wonder what she's got for me this time... The New TARDIS Amy: She? It's just a police box. Doctor: Let's go inside. The Doctor takes Amy inside. Doctor: It's called the TARDIS this thing. Time And Realtive Dimension In Space. It travels in time and space. And it's mine. Amy: But it can't. That's impossible. Doctor: Impossible is just code. You can do anything when you think about it. Even jumping off the Earth. Amy: Where's Rory? Rory runs into the TARDIS. Doctor: Yes, it's bigger on the inside. Smaller on the outside. Suddenly, something starts banging on the door. Doctor: Who is it? The Doctor opens the door, and a snake is present. Doctor: AAH! A SNAKE! Rory: You're afraid of a snake? Doctor: Yes I am. The new desktop theme has just started. I'm just talking randomly. Do you know of a pizza place in town? Amy: No. Doctor: Good. I hate pizza. A whole circle of snakes are gathering the bar. Amy: My bar! Doctor: Don't worry! I'll save your bar. The Doctor takes Amy's hand and they dash inside the bar. Doctor: Do you have a supplies cupboard? With spare wine and stuff in case of drainage problems? Amy: Yes why? The Doctor runs to the toilet cubicle. Doctor: Whoops! Wrong door! The Doctor opens up the supplies cupboard. Doctor: I need all the wine we can find! Go go go! Amy: But you hate wine! Doctor: I don't care! Rory, Amy and the Doctor get ten bottles of wine each. Doctor: Now to get drunk more than ever before! The Doctor drinks the first bottle, then spits it at the snakes. The snakes get weaker. The Snake Attack Snakes: Doctor! You've changed again. Doctor: I'm now afraid of you! Snakes: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Doctor: But that dosen't stop me defeating you! Snake: Snakes, attack! The snakes all attack the Doctor. Doctor: AAAAAHHHH!!!! Amy, save me! Amy tries to attack the snakes but it dosen't work. Amy: Don't worry Doctor! I'll save you! Amy and Rory tie all the wine bottles together and then link them to the tap that produces wine. Rory: Ready Amy? Amy: Yes! Amy turns the tap on and the wine starts running round the bar. Snakes: Oh dear. The snakes clamber off the Doctor. Rory: On the bar table! Quick! The trio leap onto the bar table. Doctor: Bye bye snakes! Travelling With The Doctor The snakes die. Doctor: Right. Home. Apart from if you want to come with me. Rory: No. That life you lead is too dangerous! Amy: But he travels in time and space. Rory: Exactly! Our wedding is in seven days and I don't want you dieing. Doctor: Well, Rory, I promise I'll keep you and Amy safe. Rory: (Sighs) Oh all right then. Amy: Yay! The trio enter the TARDIS. The End.